Jul
Month 2
Assistant manager Halenbeck does a moneyball. Using the teams stats sheet he came up with this. He also worked out a gravity is false and every thing has a magnet inside.
Taking into account the ratio of tackles won by players and ability to hit the target. And of course the danger of some players in any box. And other players getting nose bleeds in the box trying to score Halenbeck came up with this team sheet.
Halenbecks conclusion... Score more goals. Win.
The TON are in search of a keeper to play for them. They have had one or two play for them but each of the so called "keepers" has ended up just wanting to play as striker or left and due to legal reasons. Im not permitted to say why due to the super injunction Larsson has. The TON did get one keeper that was pretty good but he clashed with some members of the team as he wasnt a mackum.
So if you play as a pro keeper .And no one else will take you. And if you can find us. Maybe you can play for the TON.
Also this week the TON gave Larsson a huge gift in the way of a bronze statue outside the cowshed to thank him for all his work with the TON.
The TON raised the money for the statue by selling horse seaman and would like to give a big shout out to Unicorn for donating. After seeing the statue Larsson had this to say "waw its a great honor to play for the ton and now tramps will always have some thing to piss on as they walk past".
The TON took on cheryl cole fc. And playing for the TON would be Rossildinio and Larsson. And they would be up against a team of four including a pro keeper. Cue the larsson rage face.
From the start Rossildinio and Larsson stuck it too them out playing them all over the pitch. And like a typical scouser it wasnt to long before she spread her legs and let Larsson slot one in. Now shaky she was at the full mercy of Rossildinio and Larsson who were only to happy to tear her up some more. And after a little foreplay they banged a few more into her before the team fucked off giving the TON a 5-0 win.
After the game Larsson said "yess strike that of my bucket list.. fucking cheryl in her little brown ashley cole".
We played we won jog on.
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