Well its been a slow week here at the TON but Larsson and Uni have been plugging away with a few games.
The team could have had a few more games and wins but Uni has been busy out and about finger blasting Jade in Passion.
SORRY the TON would like to take back that last statement about Jambo finger blasting Jade. Jambo may or may not have carnal knowledge of Jade... most likely he does but a new super injunction from the young player has prohibited this reporter from saying that he has done things to her. And the picture of Jade has now been pixelated to protect her identity.
Well its 2014 and Larsson and Uni went on the first cup run of the year. And wouldnt you know it they fucking blagged a cup win lol. Yup a nice new Ea cup to fill the trophy cabinet with. And Uni even managed to get the first goal and hatrik of the year. The squad could have had a few more wins but Uni went and had some kinda of fire alert lol. So like a pussy he ran out the building screaming like a little girl when the alarm went off. Well he might have as all that could be heard was the alarm down the mic.
Its christmas time and its the TONs first promotion down to div2 and short lived it was. A typical shit streak from fifas cheating programing and the Randys couldnt hit a ball or do much of anything. And a few minutes later the TON are back in div3.
Well its that time of year again when the managers do some team stats. And the players have just been reevaluted and value adjusted in the squad page. Stats will be posted on our stats page of course. And in a shocking turn of events the stats show Limo is now i higher player value than Uni. And the two highest valued players are now Rossildinio and Larsson.
Well the TON are back and playing. And its promotion then relegation... and then promotion and some more relegation again lol. Why i hear you ask. Well thanks to the assholes who made the game ball control is now more realistic aka shite. Shooting is sporadic and has less control and aim and more power. Running speed has been drastically lowered when on the ball to stop people being fast ?. And players now turn as if they are carrying a fucking truck. and even skill moves have been altered taking away tapping the ball ahead of yourself and step overs to dummy the ball as well as changing the controls now as to not need to hold Lt down to perform the moves this of course due no doubt to fucktards who play the game and bitch they cant do skill moves so fifa have clearly dumbed down to there level. All in the game play is a let down and has easily gone back a few years on ability and design. Not to mention pro clubs has been fucked off with no ability to save goals to keep them and no loading screen to see how many players you go up againts and this is just stupid no one wants to play 2 vs 7 but now we have no option on it. Well done fifa you bunch of cunts.
In other news Limo is still a cunt. Yes hes at it again and has just cost the TON a cup victory. In a penalty shoot out Limo with 1/3 stamina left managed to sky his shot only seconds after the opposition player with zero stamina who had pulled up three times in the game and had a stroke in extra time managed to put his shoot away and score. Well done Limo you cunt.
BREAKING NEWS.
Out of nowhere Limo has jumped on with Larsson and not fucked it up lol. A sunday afternoon cup run from the boys has bagged the TON a continental cup. After chipping the ball like crazy the last few days and missing penalties my dead granny could have scored Limo has played we...we... w ell. That was like swallowing acid. Yes the boys bagged a cup and even managed to highest scoring game of fifa14 go on lads. A 6-2 victory over some douchebags.
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