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The TON - Month 12


Well its still early in the week but Larsson has already managed to steal two classic goals. Starting with Limo taking a free kick. He hit the ball perfect towards the top left corner BUT Larsson times it nice and steps up and headers it just a fraction taking the goal. Of course Limo was happy celebrating until he spotted it wasnt his goal then kicked of with WTF.

 

Great steal.

Second goal was a classic turn and smash shot from Sneaky. And of course Larsson cuts across his path and sends it towards the front post. Have a look for yourself.

Also this week Rossildinio made an appearance DRUNK and managed to single handedly got the squad kicked from div3 to div4. But dont cry TON fans Larsson and Uni jumped on fast and got the squad back up to div3 and even took the title. Oh my lawyers tell me i have to mention Limo did play as well. Did he play good or bad ? hmm lets just say if i had a penny for every time he chipped the ball i would be a fucking zillionaire.




This week the squad are of to a flyer. Starting with a jump from div 2 to div1 while also taking the title and having a game to spare. Thats now the 6th time the TON have been promoted to div1 and the start of the 11th season in div1. But no sooner have the TON got into div1 and they have been kicked back out to div2. Now of course Larsson and Uni were having none of this and soon got the squad back on track and back into div1. Making that the 7th time now in div1 and the start of the 12th season. And with some scrappy games the squad have stayed in div1 for a 13th season.

Breaking news. After Larsson and Uni play  well all week the squads part timers have all jumped on played total shite and when Larsson and Uni left the rest of the players played on after managerial advice to stop was given. The part timers then got the squad kicked from div1 to div2. But thats not all even with that they didnt stop and instead played some more terrible football and got the TON kicked from div2 to div3 and then called it a night.


In the morning Larsson fired them on the spot Mr burns style. Of course many players found this a little harsh. Larsson had this to say    "the part timers are not as good as our regulars and play only three or four games at a time maybe once a month they never rank up their pros and only jump on for a game as a way to kill time for an hour they and pay little to no attention. They care nothing about the team and dont play as a team they pick up any position and never play it but instead run up front to take shots at goal wanting to all be heroes. And they take no responsibility for any losses when they cause them. They should have thought of the team and stopped after two or three losses in div2 and given the team a chance of saving div2 but they dont care and played on leaving the rest of the squad to clean up the mess they leave behind. Also the squad wanted to be in div1 for a chance of a cup run the next day. So fuck them. Play for the team and think of the team or dont fucking play at all".




And its a slow start to the week yet again. And the TON may have started the week in division three but they soon work their way up the divisions and back in div2 faster than you can say "my hairless balls are itchy ross" yeh its a long story just ask Sneaky.

 Oh also this week some mid week stats for you. Starting with the strikers and Sneaky hitting a staggering 4400 shots at goal in just 515 games. But Larssons hitting 3300 shots at goal in over 1000 games. Then we have the midfielders and Uni hitting 5300 shots at goal in 700 games. And Limo hitting just over 2000 shots at goal. But who scores with the least amount of shots ?. Well Sneaky is hitting the target and bagging a goal every 10 shots. Larsson on the other hand is bagging a goal every 5 shots. But for shame poor UniLimo and even Rossildinio are scoring goals upwards of 14 shots or more. Tut tut lads need to hit the training ground and find the back of the net and not the back of the stadium.





Well this weeks been a slow week with Larsson not on for many games and the rest of the squad apparently without Larsson on the pitch no one wants to play ?. Are the squad just a bunch of hopeless dangleberries ?. Well they may well be but once on and with Larsson upfront the squad manage to bag yet another cup victory. Making that the 22nd cup win for the TON.




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